Don't wait too long or she'll be gone fast as a
blink
Get on the ball if you love your lover
No gesture too small
Tear down the walls if you love her
Just give it your all
Ooo yeah, you've got to tell her she's the only
one
Show her, make sure she'll never feel
abandoned
Get on the ball if you love your lover
No gesture too small
Tear down the walls if you love her
Just give it your all
Don't wait too long or she'll be gone fast as a
blink
Don't wait too long or she'll be gone fast as a
blink
Don't wait too long or she'll be gone fast as a
blink
There won't be time to even think
So use your mind and instinct
She'll drive you crazy
So don't be so damn lazy
yeah, you've got to tell her she's the only
one
Show her, make sure she'll never feel
abandoned
Don't wait too long or she'll be gone. fast
Friday, September 30, 2011
What i have been longing for
All i really need, all i really ever wanted was for you to be honest with me. That's all i ask. I want no fancy things, no bling or ching. I don't need any of that. What i really want, what i really wished is 113% honesty. But i can't have that :| It's so frustrating at times but what can i do. I'll wait a little longer :) But after this, no more. This time for real. It will definitely be a real ending.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
right chevron, oo, left chevron
>o<
I have no idea
But i feel a bit empty and sad
I don't know why but it feels different
Sighs~ hopefully the feeling would go away after i sleep it off
Mood: melancholic
I have no idea
But i feel a bit empty and sad
I don't know why but it feels different
Sighs~ hopefully the feeling would go away after i sleep it off
Mood: melancholic
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Modu da bye bye
Oh baby. tell me Why you act so strange
But tonight, I don’t need a damn explain
hajiman iminan modu algo iseosseo nan
neowa hamkke itneun go nyeoseokdo
philyo obseo jebal jom sarajyeo
dwaesseo nameun haengbok gatgo kkeojyeoboryeo
hajiman iminan modu algo iseosseo nan
neowa hamkke itneun go nyeoseokdo
philyo obseo jebal jom sarajyeo
dwaesseo nameun haengbok gatgo kkeojyeoboryeo
modu da bye bye~ sarangdo
modu da bye bye~ ujeongdo
Feels like I’m ready (hey~!) No love I’m done with (ho~)
keutnabeorin sarangirago haedo malhal pilyo obtjanha
modu da bye bye~ ujeongdo
Feels like I’m ready (hey~!) No love I’m done with (ho~)
keutnabeorin sarangirago haedo malhal pilyo obtjanha
modu da bye bye chueokdo
modu da bye bye seulpeumdo
Feels like I’m ready (hey~!) No love I’m done with (ho~)
keutnabeorin sairago malhae (keutnageoya baby)
modu da bye bye seulpeumdo
Feels like I’m ready (hey~!) No love I’m done with (ho~)
keutnabeorin sairago malhae (keutnageoya baby)
I'm not perfect
But i keep trying
Some days i feel like giving my all
Some nights i feel so restless
But if i take us out of the picture, maybe then we wouldn't be like this.
I miss my sis
I miss myself
I miss the old times we've been so happy together
But now things aren't the same for sure
We grew apart, becoming strangers again
We've fought, we've cried, we've tried our hardest
But no matter what this can't be mended back to its' original form.
What once was lost, now have been regained (somewhat)
There's nothing left in this pistol. The bullet has been fired, and there's no spark left.
Some days i feel like giving my all
Some nights i feel so restless
But if i take us out of the picture, maybe then we wouldn't be like this.
I miss my sis
I miss myself
I miss the old times we've been so happy together
But now things aren't the same for sure
We grew apart, becoming strangers again
We've fought, we've cried, we've tried our hardest
But no matter what this can't be mended back to its' original form.
What once was lost, now have been regained (somewhat)
There's nothing left in this pistol. The bullet has been fired, and there's no spark left.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Too many chances, you only needed one.
Yes, i let people step on me. Dance on me. Ripping everything away from me. Always trying to cover themselves up by adding more white lies. I hate that. I hate people who lie. And those that knows me well enough knows that i DESPISE those kinda people. Other then smoking/drinking, yes, the #1 thing on my top hateful list are liars. Smoking and drinking kills you in the long run, a lie can change your whole life.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Why i think my sister is a pabo
So i've read her latest posts, and one of it was about her list of reasons to why she can't get a boyfriend. Now when i saw the "list" she made, i wanna slap her..HARD. Because what she listed...is like..wth ._. heres why.
a real innocent cutie!
Pabo sister, stop doubting yourself!
Reasons why I can't get a boyfriend.(fixed)
1. My looks: my sister thinks guys don't go after her because of her looks? you mean her cuteness and how her hair smells like fresh berries (i swear i'm either a lesbian or i love her hair xD) There's nothing wrong with her looks (i don't know what's wrong with her...seriously) I'm not backing her up cause she's my sis, but because i see her as a true beauty. Seriously! I love her long lashes with her glossy eyes, and how her lips forms into a heart when she smiles. Her cheeks blush up when she laughs too much XD and makes it even cuter! I'm serious. When she puts her hair up with a hairclip, her wavy hair makes it even more kawaii like a real korean girl :o i wish my hair is like that ;[ but it always goes straight when i curl it ;_; i LOVE HER HAIR!
2. My personality: okay, sis..either you're really a pabo or just....=3= you have such a fun personality! You're so kind, nice, understanding, you're like ME...so if you hate your personality..what about me...;_: you are so natural like a true korean girl ;o So polite~ unlike those stuck up caked-on makeup pretty fake faces girls =3=
3. My high expectations in men, because of KPOP (lol): nothing wrong with this LOL but why is it on your list o.o
4. First impressions: of you or the person? because if it's you, you first give off an impression of this
a real innocent cutie!5. I'm some what socially awkward: noo you're shy, which is NORMAL for so many girls! you weirdo xD
6. My size, height, make it hard for me to dress pretty.: wtfff! Your height is normal! i love your height i wish i was tall like you! it's not that fun being short like me T_T Your weight is normal. And you know, you're eating healthy and exercising so it's good! It's not like you're those people who eats and eats and then grows and then get all sad about it. You actually stay fit! LOVE YOUR WEIGHT! You have such awesome boobs cause of that!
(I would list my race, but there's SO MANY Interracial couples out there)....say what o.o you are..weird. Your race...=3= and fyi your skin tone for your "race" is such a lovely color ^o^
And you know why you can't get a bf atm? Because other guys are going for the girls who are "fake" and willing to give their virginity away (not all guys do that but most) and alot of them smokes...so that's out of the question. So don't think they're not interested in you! I'm dead serious. Like honestly, why would anyone like me? First impression, no ONE would like me. It takes them time to like me because of who i am. Not how i look...because i'm just average. You on the other hand, you are above average based on your personality and looks, but those guys out there just wants the "rotten" girls first. If only they open their eyes for that perfect girl aka you, they'd go flocking to you ;o
Pabo sister, stop doubting yourself!
Sunday, September 18, 2011
What is left?
When all the walls have been broken down
When we lose our trust in each other
What is there left in this?
Promises that were supposed to be kept like an oath, was gone in an instant
But the thing is, it could of been avoided.
I'm not going to say one or the other was right, but both of us was at fault for several things. They say i'm very vulnerable. And i trust people too easily. Yes i've fallen into their traps many times. But never this hard. I never knew that the person you're most close to, can turn against you. Thus, creating conflict for the both of you. I know i'm not perfect and i knew from the start. That's why i always question people if they really do want to get to know me, because i'm full of trouble-whether i like it or not. I don't like hurting people, but even though i try to distant myself away. I always end up hurting them. But the key point in this, is i try not to get close to people. I create a wall. I'd rather be a loner then to have a lot of friends and hurting them in the end.
But i met someone, who slowly made me open up. What i've been creating for many years to keep myself from getting hurt again, was all breaking down. I had a new light in my path. I had faith and trusted everything he said to me. I literally gave my life line to him. But i never knew, he would hurt me in the end. Self-conciously or not, the pain i didn't want to feel, the hurt i've tried to hide...started all over again. But this is my life. Always filled with unfortunate events. And i know, i have to live with it for the rest of my life.
Honestly, i think he doesn't deserve any of this. To have to deal with the same crap as me is just not fair. So i really do wonder, if only he can meet someone else, better then me. To make him smile. And not hurting. I know he's getting sick of it and probably thinks i'm always troublesome but doesn't tell me. I don't want him to feel that. I know he can't handle something like this, that is so intense-no one can. So i rather let myself hurt alone rather then bringing other people down.
*Sour apple porcupine* if you are reading this, then please accept my apology. But i think you've had enough of this chaos. I'm sorry if i ever got you involved. And i know you're not giving up. But please, do what is best for you. Do what would make you happier. All i ever wanted is for you to be happy and become a better person. But i think i've pushed you too hard. I know all your friends hate me and even think this is all of my fault. Though i'm not happy about it, but hey, they're your friends and i know they'll always look out for you. It's fine with me. This happened once too many times in the past and i'm used to getting all the blame. But if it makes you feel even a bit at ease to have your friends look out for you, then it's okay. Because in the end, i just want you to be worry-free and not having to deal with this crap. I don't mind looking like the bad guy here, you can take all the blame on me and it's fine. I'm not going to blame you for anything. That's all i wanted to say...
When we lose our trust in each other
What is there left in this?
Promises that were supposed to be kept like an oath, was gone in an instant
But the thing is, it could of been avoided.
I'm not going to say one or the other was right, but both of us was at fault for several things. They say i'm very vulnerable. And i trust people too easily. Yes i've fallen into their traps many times. But never this hard. I never knew that the person you're most close to, can turn against you. Thus, creating conflict for the both of you. I know i'm not perfect and i knew from the start. That's why i always question people if they really do want to get to know me, because i'm full of trouble-whether i like it or not. I don't like hurting people, but even though i try to distant myself away. I always end up hurting them. But the key point in this, is i try not to get close to people. I create a wall. I'd rather be a loner then to have a lot of friends and hurting them in the end.
But i met someone, who slowly made me open up. What i've been creating for many years to keep myself from getting hurt again, was all breaking down. I had a new light in my path. I had faith and trusted everything he said to me. I literally gave my life line to him. But i never knew, he would hurt me in the end. Self-conciously or not, the pain i didn't want to feel, the hurt i've tried to hide...started all over again. But this is my life. Always filled with unfortunate events. And i know, i have to live with it for the rest of my life.
Honestly, i think he doesn't deserve any of this. To have to deal with the same crap as me is just not fair. So i really do wonder, if only he can meet someone else, better then me. To make him smile. And not hurting. I know he's getting sick of it and probably thinks i'm always troublesome but doesn't tell me. I don't want him to feel that. I know he can't handle something like this, that is so intense-no one can. So i rather let myself hurt alone rather then bringing other people down.
*Sour apple porcupine* if you are reading this, then please accept my apology. But i think you've had enough of this chaos. I'm sorry if i ever got you involved. And i know you're not giving up. But please, do what is best for you. Do what would make you happier. All i ever wanted is for you to be happy and become a better person. But i think i've pushed you too hard. I know all your friends hate me and even think this is all of my fault. Though i'm not happy about it, but hey, they're your friends and i know they'll always look out for you. It's fine with me. This happened once too many times in the past and i'm used to getting all the blame. But if it makes you feel even a bit at ease to have your friends look out for you, then it's okay. Because in the end, i just want you to be worry-free and not having to deal with this crap. I don't mind looking like the bad guy here, you can take all the blame on me and it's fine. I'm not going to blame you for anything. That's all i wanted to say...
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Rain on Me
I don't mind. Though i've been pushed to my limits, i have others who supports me.
Rain on me, rain on me, that's okay
I have a follow through.
You hate this, i like that
I mind this, you mind that
We're the opposites
But that's alright
The trust i had in you, faded
It will take time for me to trust you again, this time...longer
From this moment, i finally feel free-at least a little bit
And i'm happy, i can finally breath
knock knock knock knock, when you need something
Don't just go barging into my space
From this day, i feel like myself again.
To J, M, V, JL, & N: Thank you for being such awesome peeps. I really can't do it without you :) you don't know it, but you make me feel much calmer and slowly at ease.
J: You are random and yes a total stalker with...people who can give you anything you needed ...illegally XD i Don't know how you do it but that's cool ^^ Thank you for listening to my rant and yes i still owe you a viet sub!
M: You know i can't be without you. You've been with me through many tears, laughs, pains, and joy. And i cherish you for that. You are a one of a kind and i can NEVER replace you for any other person. Despite the fact you want to worry about yourself first, you always end up worrying and caring for me. I love you <3 (not as a lover lol)
V: I don't know how you do it, but you always keep me calm. You sound like an old wise man at times, but i can see the kid in your eyes (which is rare haha) when we talk ^^ I'm really happy to see you finally being more cheerful now. You've changed from before and i think its good that you get to be this side of you. Sometimes, i don't know why, but you remind me of an older onee-san ^^ So thank you~
JL: you message me randomly just to talk about our days. But without realizing, you help me forget why i was mad or down and make me laugh with your fail typos x) you are such a squirrel ;P
N: Despite our past mishaps, even though you just wanted to talk to me just for the heck of it, you realized i wasn't feeling myself and ended up conversing with me in your usual self like how we used to talk back then. It really helps brighten up the day to be honest. So thanks ^^
Rain on me, rain on me, that's okay
I have a follow through.
You hate this, i like that
I mind this, you mind that
We're the opposites
But that's alright
The trust i had in you, faded
It will take time for me to trust you again, this time...longer
From this moment, i finally feel free-at least a little bit
And i'm happy, i can finally breath
knock knock knock knock, when you need something
Don't just go barging into my space
From this day, i feel like myself again.
To J, M, V, JL, & N: Thank you for being such awesome peeps. I really can't do it without you :) you don't know it, but you make me feel much calmer and slowly at ease.
J: You are random and yes a total stalker with...people who can give you anything you needed ...illegally XD i Don't know how you do it but that's cool ^^ Thank you for listening to my rant and yes i still owe you a viet sub!
M: You know i can't be without you. You've been with me through many tears, laughs, pains, and joy. And i cherish you for that. You are a one of a kind and i can NEVER replace you for any other person. Despite the fact you want to worry about yourself first, you always end up worrying and caring for me. I love you <3 (not as a lover lol)
V: I don't know how you do it, but you always keep me calm. You sound like an old wise man at times, but i can see the kid in your eyes (which is rare haha) when we talk ^^ I'm really happy to see you finally being more cheerful now. You've changed from before and i think its good that you get to be this side of you. Sometimes, i don't know why, but you remind me of an older onee-san ^^ So thank you~
JL: you message me randomly just to talk about our days. But without realizing, you help me forget why i was mad or down and make me laugh with your fail typos x) you are such a squirrel ;P
N: Despite our past mishaps, even though you just wanted to talk to me just for the heck of it, you realized i wasn't feeling myself and ended up conversing with me in your usual self like how we used to talk back then. It really helps brighten up the day to be honest. So thanks ^^
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Suddenly
I couldn’t come up with any words.
I really did not know I’d see you again.
Somewhere buried deep inside my heart.
I have longed and ached for you.
When I turn around I see the smiling face.
The face that is always there, behind me.
This dizzy feeling keeps me up at night.
Traces of you keep me crying again.
The face that is always there, behind me.
This dizzy feeling keeps me up at night.
Traces of you keep me crying again.
Tell me now, how was I wrong?
Tell me now, was I lacking?
Tell me now, was I lacking?
I really desired you like crazy.
I always prayed that I could see you again.
I feel as though I will die like this.
Can’t you be the one coming to me now.
Please.
I always prayed that I could see you again.
I feel as though I will die like this.
Can’t you be the one coming to me now.
Please.
I told myself I’d be fine alone.
That I could do well without you.
I tell myself this as I try to force myself to sleep.
But all I can think of are the way you speak and look.
That I could do well without you.
I tell myself this as I try to force myself to sleep.
But all I can think of are the way you speak and look.
Tell me now, how was I wrong?
Tell me now, was I lacking?
Tell me now, was I lacking?
I really desired you like crazy.
I always prayed that I could see you again.
I feel as though I will die like this.
Can’t you be the one coming to me now?
I always prayed that I could see you again.
I feel as though I will die like this.
Can’t you be the one coming to me now?
I really desired you like crazy.
I always prayed that I could see you again.
I feel as though I will die like this.
Can’t you be the one coming to me now?
Please.
Please.
I always prayed that I could see you again.
I feel as though I will die like this.
Can’t you be the one coming to me now?
Please.
Please.
Now then ever, i'm the one who needs you.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Love
Is when you trust someone so dearly
that you poured out your heart to
only to let it get stepped on
Love, is when you tell them everything and only to have that person lie to you and go against all of his words
Love, is when you're foolish enough to fall into it
Love, is when the person you cared for suddenly turned against you when you're most vulnerable
Love, is a jinx
Love is a crime
Love is a pain
Love is just an illusion
Love...is a magic trick that went wrong.
*and a side note to whoever is reading this, if this is being shared to other people, hello. please...do continue to talk behind my back...and do continue to bring me down. you're getting very close to creating the perfect monster to this world*
*to my BEST friend* thank you for being there for me and i thank you and love you for that
*to the person who knows well enough who i'm talking about* thank you for hurting me so much because you "love" me. Thank you for lying to me and telling everyone else about my deepest secrets, it really makes me a jolly lot better.
that you poured out your heart to
only to let it get stepped on
Love, is when you tell them everything and only to have that person lie to you and go against all of his words
Love, is when you're foolish enough to fall into it
Love, is when the person you cared for suddenly turned against you when you're most vulnerable
Love, is a jinx
Love is a crime
Love is a pain
Love is just an illusion
Love...is a magic trick that went wrong.
*and a side note to whoever is reading this, if this is being shared to other people, hello. please...do continue to talk behind my back...and do continue to bring me down. you're getting very close to creating the perfect monster to this world*
*to my BEST friend* thank you for being there for me and i thank you and love you for that
*to the person who knows well enough who i'm talking about* thank you for hurting me so much because you "love" me. Thank you for lying to me and telling everyone else about my deepest secrets, it really makes me a jolly lot better.
Monday, September 12, 2011
TL:DR
I'll do what you always do to me and ignore the words that are coming out of my mouth and just seeing the surface of the meanings only. TL:DR.
Maybe then you'll know how it feels.
Maybe then you'll know how it feels.
Another day, another time
I woke up with extreme pain from my constant coughing yesterday night ;_; so my mom made me some congee and made me drink some weird yucky liquid to sooth away the pain. And then my voice was cracking and starting to disappear! It would be fine...if i didn't have my interview today! So with 3 hours to spare, i had to jug down so much warm water that i've became a giant whale. x_x i felt so bloated! LOL! And then when i went to yorkdale to meet the manager at second cup...i couldn't find her! (it was my first time meeting her since she contacted me through her cell) so feeling like the world was spinning on a rollercoaster, i fumbled back and forth looking for a potential asian lady (she sounded like a canto lady ..and cause her phone said a canto name LOL) ....30 mins later i decided to go to her booth. I met another manager and apparently the person who called me...got her phone stolen! And the interviewer (her name is Anna) was actually standing at another booth which was located to where i was wandering around the whole time! After that little mismatch, she asked simple questions about me being a people person and why i would fit the role of being a sales associate at Jade/ Isis, i get to start tomorrow!~~~ (woohoo!) Well i'm still in training...and she wants to see me in action...so i hope i do well! >_< because i get really shy and shrivel up after like..20 mins of talking LOL! man...i should of got myself a basket of strawberries !
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Homemade Pate So (Berrie's Viet Cuisine)
Hi guys! Today i was out shopping with my mom and i started to crave for some of these pate so (which is like a pastry stuffed with meat ) And then i was thinking..."hey, i can make this ;o" so i did hehe
So here's what you will need to make these wonderful mouthwatering pastries :)
Ingredients:
-1 lb of ground chicken or pork (or half of each)
-1 cup of grated carrots
-1/2 cup of minced shallots (green onions)
-2 tablespoons of pork or liver pate
-3 teaspoons of sugar
-1 teaspoon of salt
-1 teaspoon of garlic powder
-2 to 3 teaspoon of ground pepper (you can add more to get a spicier taste)
-2 to 3 teaspoon of fish sauce (but you can alternate it with chicken powder)
-1 teaspoon of sodium glutamate
1 teaspoon of garlic powder
-700g puff pastry (or 3 sheets of puff pastry sheets)
-1/2 tablespoon of margarine
-2 eggs
*preheat the oven to 330 degrees*
Prep: Mix all of the meat, pate, and EVERYTHING together evenly except the puff pastry and egg of course. Then, separate the eggs and save the egg yolk (the yellow goo) for later. Add the rest of the egg with the mixed meat. Unroll the puff pastry sheets if they came from the rolled pack or roll the block of puff pastry (if you got it in a small little box) to about 3 cm high.
Then, cut one sheet of puff pastry and divide it into 9 sections (they will look like squares or rectangles). Do the same to the other sheets. Take a spoon and scoop a bit of meat into one side of the sheet. Then, use the egg yolk as an egg wash and glue the edges of the sheet. Fold the pastry in half and using a fork, press it around the corners (like how you would do it to a pie crust).
Now after you're done with this, get an aluminum tray and oil or butter the tray. You don't want the pastries to get stuck to the tray after it's done >_< Lay out the pastries onto the tray and making sure you leave a little space around each pastry (because they will expand a little) Egg wash over the top of each pastry and using a knife, make a cross on each pastry so air can come out (yes, the meat needs to breath too!)
You can now put the tray of pastries into the preheated oven. Leave it in there for about 25-30 minutes (or until the pastry is all puffed up and turned golden brown)
While you're waiting for the Pate So, you can dance or sing or even make a short little video about yourself (hahah)
And, viola! You get a yummy flaky viet style pastry ^o^ <3 It's sooo good! *omnomnomnom*
And that my friend, is how you make a Pate So ^^ until next time!~
So here's what you will need to make these wonderful mouthwatering pastries :)
Ingredients:
-1 lb of ground chicken or pork (or half of each)
-1 cup of grated carrots
-1/2 cup of minced shallots (green onions)
-2 tablespoons of pork or liver pate
-3 teaspoons of sugar
-1 teaspoon of salt
-1 teaspoon of garlic powder
-2 to 3 teaspoon of ground pepper (you can add more to get a spicier taste)
-2 to 3 teaspoon of fish sauce (but you can alternate it with chicken powder)
-1 teaspoon of sodium glutamate
1 teaspoon of garlic powder
-700g puff pastry (or 3 sheets of puff pastry sheets)
-1/2 tablespoon of margarine
-2 eggs
*preheat the oven to 330 degrees*
Prep: Mix all of the meat, pate, and EVERYTHING together evenly except the puff pastry and egg of course. Then, separate the eggs and save the egg yolk (the yellow goo) for later. Add the rest of the egg with the mixed meat. Unroll the puff pastry sheets if they came from the rolled pack or roll the block of puff pastry (if you got it in a small little box) to about 3 cm high.
Then, cut one sheet of puff pastry and divide it into 9 sections (they will look like squares or rectangles). Do the same to the other sheets. Take a spoon and scoop a bit of meat into one side of the sheet. Then, use the egg yolk as an egg wash and glue the edges of the sheet. Fold the pastry in half and using a fork, press it around the corners (like how you would do it to a pie crust).
Now after you're done with this, get an aluminum tray and oil or butter the tray. You don't want the pastries to get stuck to the tray after it's done >_< Lay out the pastries onto the tray and making sure you leave a little space around each pastry (because they will expand a little) Egg wash over the top of each pastry and using a knife, make a cross on each pastry so air can come out (yes, the meat needs to breath too!)
You can now put the tray of pastries into the preheated oven. Leave it in there for about 25-30 minutes (or until the pastry is all puffed up and turned golden brown)
While you're waiting for the Pate So, you can dance or sing or even make a short little video about yourself (hahah)
And that my friend, is how you make a Pate So ^^ until next time!~
Saturday, September 10, 2011
My missing bikini bottom, my dear soul sister, my Ee-poo-ta Dong-saeng
Yesh i am back from driving school =3= took forever for that class to end that i even counted how many people were falling asleep in there XD
(thankfully i didn't fall asleep eheheh)
I was thinking of how much my sister and i had so much in common XD like the fact that we like Infinite ^o^ (yea yea!~) okay okay she introduced the group to me (thankies <3) and i listened to their song. At first i was like "ohh cute a typical korean song from a typical boyband" but then...i listened to BTM (before the dawn) and i was like "WHO IS THIS AWESOME GROUP *bows down*" yes i fell in LOVE with this group
and i mean HEAD OVER HEELS
They're still fresh from korea so they don't have alot of singles or..even..more then one single i think o.o but they ROCK AS-BUTT! they rock like HOW MUCH I LOVE idol uknow @o@ (my lovely sis knows that :) )
But yeah, i am crazy for Myungie <3 (lol sis i saw your bloggie with his pics...i like ^0^)
*dies* they rock! okay...now i sound like a school girl hahhaha XD
well this is what happens when you got bombarded with traffic signs and sitting on a plastic chair for 5 hours that you get high off of this awesome boyband :)
i can't wait to get an infinite hoodie with my sis so we can wear matching hoodies <3 i've always dreamed of wearing matching things with here ;o
but anyways, like she knows, and like my family knows, i am trying to get on track with finding jobs, getting my g2, and worry about these things before i worry about this other situation thing that is really bugging me (okay not really bugging me because this always happens every time it's not all happy and sunshine ...=3= so i'm just...pushing that aside so we can both get used to the idea that we will NEVER be on the same path if one or the other keeps missing the whole point of communication and space.)
But enough of that, INFINITE YOU ROCK MY WORLD !~ and i MISS MY UNNIE i know i called her little sister and older sister, this is because to me she's equal to myself so i don't consider her as younger sis even though she's born a month later (because sometimes she even acks like the older sister for me <3) so she's my ...unnie-saeng o_O lol yeah i combined it XD but unnie-saeng, sa-rang-hae!
(thankfully i didn't fall asleep eheheh)
I was thinking of how much my sister and i had so much in common XD like the fact that we like Infinite ^o^ (yea yea!~) okay okay she introduced the group to me (thankies <3) and i listened to their song. At first i was like "ohh cute a typical korean song from a typical boyband" but then...i listened to BTM (before the dawn) and i was like "WHO IS THIS AWESOME GROUP *bows down*" yes i fell in LOVE with this group
and i mean HEAD OVER HEELS
They're still fresh from korea so they don't have alot of singles or..even..more then one single i think o.o but they ROCK AS-BUTT! they rock like HOW MUCH I LOVE idol uknow @o@ (my lovely sis knows that :) )
But yeah, i am crazy for Myungie <3 (lol sis i saw your bloggie with his pics...i like ^0^)
*dies* they rock! okay...now i sound like a school girl hahhaha XD
well this is what happens when you got bombarded with traffic signs and sitting on a plastic chair for 5 hours that you get high off of this awesome boyband :)
i can't wait to get an infinite hoodie with my sis so we can wear matching hoodies <3 i've always dreamed of wearing matching things with here ;o
but anyways, like she knows, and like my family knows, i am trying to get on track with finding jobs, getting my g2, and worry about these things before i worry about this other situation thing that is really bugging me (okay not really bugging me because this always happens every time it's not all happy and sunshine ...=3= so i'm just...pushing that aside so we can both get used to the idea that we will NEVER be on the same path if one or the other keeps missing the whole point of communication and space.)
Friday, September 9, 2011
Thursday, September 8, 2011
A dream gone wrong
There was this dream that i had
it seemed real.
We were talking, conversing over a meal.
It wasn't going well.
But he was trying to make it work...
He gave the waiter a small little box, i knew what it was
Desserts came around and the waiter placed the plate of mango pudding in front of me.
I knew what was going next
he was about to get up,
I stopped him from going any further
Tears were in my eyes as i try to find my words
"i'm sorry..." i said
He didn't want it to be true
and put a fake smile on his face
the pudding started to deform and a shiny silver piece of glitter sparkled through the yellow goo.
The ring looked gloomy as tears started flowing out of my eyes
"i'm sorry" i said
And took that mere ring out from the melting pudding. I placed it onto the palm of his hand, gave him a kiss on the cheek.
And left silently into the night.
I woke up with a fever and chills running down my body.
"it can't be true" i said
I didn't want it to be true
But i knew, sometimes my instincts are the forecast of the future...
And this is one of many that i've wished to not have dreamed of.
it seemed real.
We were talking, conversing over a meal.
It wasn't going well.
But he was trying to make it work...
He gave the waiter a small little box, i knew what it was
Desserts came around and the waiter placed the plate of mango pudding in front of me.
I knew what was going next
he was about to get up,
I stopped him from going any further
Tears were in my eyes as i try to find my words
"i'm sorry..." i said
He didn't want it to be true
and put a fake smile on his face
the pudding started to deform and a shiny silver piece of glitter sparkled through the yellow goo.
The ring looked gloomy as tears started flowing out of my eyes
"i'm sorry" i said
And took that mere ring out from the melting pudding. I placed it onto the palm of his hand, gave him a kiss on the cheek.
And left silently into the night.
I woke up with a fever and chills running down my body.
"it can't be true" i said
I didn't want it to be true
But i knew, sometimes my instincts are the forecast of the future...
And this is one of many that i've wished to not have dreamed of.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Lighthouse
When its dark
When you're afraid
When it's cold out
I want to be your lighthouse
And guide you along
I want to help you feel safe
Let my arms wrap around to comfort you
I want to make you feel warm at heart
Let me be your lighthouse, once again
I won't dim the lights this time
I will keep going through to make a path for you
So let me be your lighthouse, again.
When you're afraid
When it's cold out
I want to be your lighthouse
And guide you along
I want to help you feel safe
Let my arms wrap around to comfort you
I want to make you feel warm at heart
Let me be your lighthouse, once again
I won't dim the lights this time
I will keep going through to make a path for you
Time Flies
Have you ever had those moments,
where it feels like EVERYONE's disappearing?
it's like an empty glass with a little drop of water in it, and you're just trying to take that drop out by tipping the glass upside-down. But it's just slowly travelling down the cylinder path...until it reached the tip of the glass..and just hangs there...endlessly
It feels like that in a way. You know that people are there, but they're just not at the tip of your hands. That's like saying you have a hotdog, but no bun so you can't really eat the hotdog the right way. You have friends, but they're not really there for you. You have enemies, but they're the ones watching your back. So it's like...frenemies...and sometimes...it's good to have frenemies. You see, i've always look at others and think that if they just make up with their ex besties or whoever...it'll still be cool. That is if they try. But i've had some enemies myself. But now...i'm starting to change. So...i've decided to open my horizons and give this...another try. A fresh start, with my frenemies. Hopefully this time, it will end well.
Because some people DO change.
Time flies
where it feels like EVERYONE's disappearing?
it's like an empty glass with a little drop of water in it, and you're just trying to take that drop out by tipping the glass upside-down. But it's just slowly travelling down the cylinder path...until it reached the tip of the glass..and just hangs there...endlessly
It feels like that in a way. You know that people are there, but they're just not at the tip of your hands. That's like saying you have a hotdog, but no bun so you can't really eat the hotdog the right way. You have friends, but they're not really there for you. You have enemies, but they're the ones watching your back. So it's like...frenemies...and sometimes...it's good to have frenemies. You see, i've always look at others and think that if they just make up with their ex besties or whoever...it'll still be cool. That is if they try. But i've had some enemies myself. But now...i'm starting to change. So...i've decided to open my horizons and give this...another try. A fresh start, with my frenemies. Hopefully this time, it will end well.
Because some people DO change.
Time flies
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Rain on my sunshine, it won't make a difference
A burn, a cut, and a bruise
These are the pains i'm facing
But i'm still managing to stay strong ^^
These are the pains i'm facing
But i'm still managing to stay strong ^^
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Because i listened to my heartbeat...
That feeling when you love him...but he didn't know you were hurting
Now that you're moving on...he doesn't want to let you go
It hurts. The feeling. You love him, but hate him at the same time. You want him to know how you're feeling but he doesn't act rationally. In the end, it created a bigger mess. Causing pain for both you and him. You don't want it to end but it slowly eats you. He said he'll never give up on you, but he already broke that promise when he was foolish enough to leave you alone when you needed him the most. He said he loves you, but it doesn't prove a thing by just using words, and causing pain with his actions.
He doesn't know, or maybe he does. But he doesn't want to admit it. You've tried to play his games, watch his moves and follow along. But how can you when he's too far into the game to even know you were so far behind. By now he's starting to lose you. s.l.o.w.l.y... he's losing you. Because you've waited for him to step up his games like he stated with his words. But now it's all turning into lies to you. Months later he's back to his normal self. You can't change that. You're not him. Don't ever think you're worth it, because if you were...he would of changed instantly without hesitating. You've ran away for many reasons but 90% of it was because you love him too much and wanted to be with him...willing to risk everything you went after him. You refused to transfer schools for him, snuck out for him. You might not have the fortune like he does but you've cared enough to give him everything of you. You've tried making him happy. Asked him for a date and he turned up looking half amused. You tried making him smile but he's just getting bored. You made plans to go find a job at YD and for that date with him...but you went an hour early to hand in as many resumes as you can to spend the rest of the time with your "date". In the end it didn't turn out well...you've tried prettying up yourself for him, staying happy when the night before you were having a hell of a headache. No he didn't praise you for having a pretty smile or anything. He didn't seem amused. All he came up with was "your bra is visible". You tried to start up a topic and keep it going. He gives you a "i dunno. ask them." You tried to spend more time with him and he pushes you into a store telling you to "just GO. TALK" as if he's talking to a toddler when the parent is mad..or even shooing a dog away. He doesn't mean it that way...but sometimes you just feel like you're his b*tch..when he "asks" you to do this and that..or pressures you into doing something repetitively without even knowing... it's like that time...when a guy puts on a condom..but puts it the wrong way...turns it around and puts it back on..then asks the girl for a bj...what's the point of having a condom when the whole point was to be safe and not catch anything...the tip of the condom touched his junk..yet he still continued to "ask" the girl to suck it. Sorry but that requires no brain for that...and then when she refused continuously he said "what a waste of it.." . He promised you a lot of things, but as always you were used to getting broken promises from so many people that with him..it's just another lie to the list. Your cousin tells you how he misses you and when you move in with him he'll cook everything and do everything for you...and all you need to worry is stay fat and happy. You knew it was too good to be true. You moved in with him for a couple hours...you've been having second thoughts about leaving home but wanted to be with him..but you needed warmth and comfort from him when you see him..you lugged about 80 pounds of things with you by foot to his place. Tired but happy to see him, you felt relaxed...but then you had to unpack everything...and tidy up...and even help him clean up his things. You're tired, but happy to see him. You love him so you didn't mind helping out even when you felt dead. Now for a real guy like your cousin said..he would of helped you do everything himself. And all you had to do is sleep off the hurt you were carrying when you left your parents. But you didn't so as you cleaned, you got sadder. So when your parents called you...you snapped out of it. All he could do is helplessly cry...and didn't want to face your parents so he didn't help you with all the luggage upstairs. So you dad sees you..he asks why didn't "HE" help you carry? Dad is a guy too..and he was very understanding with situations. He knew "HE" was not himself so he couldn't face your parents. But a real man would of faced your parents no matter what. The look on dad's face, he was disappointed. He likes "him" but after seeing how "turtled up" the "guy" was...he didn't fancy "him" much.
Seriously.
Now you wonder if you love him...or not...
You try to make him happy
But sometimes he puts him before you. (without knowing so...) and it hurts sometimes...to see that he puts "intimate love" before you.
You've tried to communicate with him every time to work things out..but he always...misses the big picture..then when he finds out his mistake..its either too late...or he fixes it..and then goes back to his original self days..or even hours later...
Then you tell him to be more reasonable and mature and he agrees...yet you can tell he's still acting like a child. Not getting what he wants...he starts to tear up...and it hurts you inside..seeing that if he's like this..how can he really help you when you're hurting...
when you ask him how his day was and he didn't have to do anything..or feeling lonely..what does he do..all he does is sleep in. Now within that time, he could of done a lot of things. You're working your butt off trying to get a license so you can help your parents with the driving... and when you feel lonely..you still have to wake up early and clean up and everything and put on a happy face...because a real woman needs to be strong for her family. A man needs to do the same....he has it easier then you..so seeing how he sleeps in till when ever and saying his day is boring..you just feel like smacking him..because you know he could be doing so many things...but he's just putting them off till later on...and on..and on..but you didn't say anything because he wouldn't do it...and it's his own life...
Time is needed for people to change...but not like this.
At this point...at this moment...you've started to give up.
You want out of it.
he's not going to change
you can't live with his lifestyle
it's not working out
All of this happened because you...because i listened to my heartbeat.
Now that you're moving on...he doesn't want to let you go
It hurts. The feeling. You love him, but hate him at the same time. You want him to know how you're feeling but he doesn't act rationally. In the end, it created a bigger mess. Causing pain for both you and him. You don't want it to end but it slowly eats you. He said he'll never give up on you, but he already broke that promise when he was foolish enough to leave you alone when you needed him the most. He said he loves you, but it doesn't prove a thing by just using words, and causing pain with his actions.
He doesn't know, or maybe he does. But he doesn't want to admit it. You've tried to play his games, watch his moves and follow along. But how can you when he's too far into the game to even know you were so far behind. By now he's starting to lose you. s.l.o.w.l.y... he's losing you. Because you've waited for him to step up his games like he stated with his words. But now it's all turning into lies to you. Months later he's back to his normal self. You can't change that. You're not him. Don't ever think you're worth it, because if you were...he would of changed instantly without hesitating. You've ran away for many reasons but 90% of it was because you love him too much and wanted to be with him...willing to risk everything you went after him. You refused to transfer schools for him, snuck out for him. You might not have the fortune like he does but you've cared enough to give him everything of you. You've tried making him happy. Asked him for a date and he turned up looking half amused. You tried making him smile but he's just getting bored. You made plans to go find a job at YD and for that date with him...but you went an hour early to hand in as many resumes as you can to spend the rest of the time with your "date". In the end it didn't turn out well...you've tried prettying up yourself for him, staying happy when the night before you were having a hell of a headache. No he didn't praise you for having a pretty smile or anything. He didn't seem amused. All he came up with was "your bra is visible". You tried to start up a topic and keep it going. He gives you a "i dunno. ask them." You tried to spend more time with him and he pushes you into a store telling you to "just GO. TALK" as if he's talking to a toddler when the parent is mad..or even shooing a dog away. He doesn't mean it that way...but sometimes you just feel like you're his b*tch..when he "asks" you to do this and that..or pressures you into doing something repetitively without even knowing... it's like that time...when a guy puts on a condom..but puts it the wrong way...turns it around and puts it back on..then asks the girl for a bj...what's the point of having a condom when the whole point was to be safe and not catch anything...the tip of the condom touched his junk..yet he still continued to "ask" the girl to suck it. Sorry but that requires no brain for that...and then when she refused continuously he said "what a waste of it.." . He promised you a lot of things, but as always you were used to getting broken promises from so many people that with him..it's just another lie to the list. Your cousin tells you how he misses you and when you move in with him he'll cook everything and do everything for you...and all you need to worry is stay fat and happy. You knew it was too good to be true. You moved in with him for a couple hours...you've been having second thoughts about leaving home but wanted to be with him..but you needed warmth and comfort from him when you see him..you lugged about 80 pounds of things with you by foot to his place. Tired but happy to see him, you felt relaxed...but then you had to unpack everything...and tidy up...and even help him clean up his things. You're tired, but happy to see him. You love him so you didn't mind helping out even when you felt dead. Now for a real guy like your cousin said..he would of helped you do everything himself. And all you had to do is sleep off the hurt you were carrying when you left your parents. But you didn't so as you cleaned, you got sadder. So when your parents called you...you snapped out of it. All he could do is helplessly cry...and didn't want to face your parents so he didn't help you with all the luggage upstairs. So you dad sees you..he asks why didn't "HE" help you carry? Dad is a guy too..and he was very understanding with situations. He knew "HE" was not himself so he couldn't face your parents. But a real man would of faced your parents no matter what. The look on dad's face, he was disappointed. He likes "him" but after seeing how "turtled up" the "guy" was...he didn't fancy "him" much.
Seriously.
Now you wonder if you love him...or not...
You try to make him happy
But sometimes he puts him before you. (without knowing so...) and it hurts sometimes...to see that he puts "intimate love" before you.
You've tried to communicate with him every time to work things out..but he always...misses the big picture..then when he finds out his mistake..its either too late...or he fixes it..and then goes back to his original self days..or even hours later...
Then you tell him to be more reasonable and mature and he agrees...yet you can tell he's still acting like a child. Not getting what he wants...he starts to tear up...and it hurts you inside..seeing that if he's like this..how can he really help you when you're hurting...
when you ask him how his day was and he didn't have to do anything..or feeling lonely..what does he do..all he does is sleep in. Now within that time, he could of done a lot of things. You're working your butt off trying to get a license so you can help your parents with the driving... and when you feel lonely..you still have to wake up early and clean up and everything and put on a happy face...because a real woman needs to be strong for her family. A man needs to do the same....he has it easier then you..so seeing how he sleeps in till when ever and saying his day is boring..you just feel like smacking him..because you know he could be doing so many things...but he's just putting them off till later on...and on..and on..but you didn't say anything because he wouldn't do it...and it's his own life...
Time is needed for people to change...but not like this.
At this point...at this moment...you've started to give up.
You want out of it.
he's not going to change
you can't live with his lifestyle
it's not working out
All of this happened because you...because i listened to my heartbeat.
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