It feels like i'm losing you. Like a car meter, you went from 0 to full on 180. What is going on...
I don't wanna see you hurt.
Change is good, for the better. But are you okay with it?
I ran out of words to speak. No feelings of remorse. Just let it be.
Friends turned to foe, enemies becoming friends.
It's all new to me.
Yes i'm crazy, but i didn't mean to drag you through this. Never.
I'd rather let the pain hurt me then bringing you down with me.
Forgive me when i say i won't be there in the future, but things should be left as it is for now.
They think i'm only sick with the flu. I want them to think like that. Because the truth will rot up inside if it is revealed.
I'll keep things as it is for now, but i don't wanna lose you.
I guess i should just let it be, because i don't know what to do anymore...i am lost once again. I get worried over the simplest things. When i see people hurting you, it boils my blood to want to do them harm.
I never wanted to drag you into this. Nor with anyone else.
This is why i choose to close up.
I'm a murderer (emotionally) but i'm also a saint (at times)
These are the things that i have to face each day.
Love & Death
On the brighter note, my parents are finally getting married for real. I am happy for them. ( i hope i get to see my mom with a vail on ;o)
They're getting married this month (yeye) And that means...i need to think of a good restaurant just for the two of them...and their honeymoon (?) Ok..i seriously need to stay over at someone else's house if this is the case >.>
Another good news? Parents wanna go to VN and HK this summer~ that means i get to see my grandmas and aunts and cousins and nieces!~~ ^^ Bad news: I'm more worried about my cousin who is currently in the hospital ;( i hope he is doing well... >_<
I'm glad the guy i love is changing for the better, it makes me really happy ^^ I also hope i'm not losing my BFF and SISTER because she means a lot to me...i never wanted to cause her stress but because of me and him, she's like x_x :( And it makes me all @____ @ because she took it on her poor kind loving family and made her all stressed, confused, hurt... ;(
I've tried talking to my sister about my..situation....but i was never good at explaining...and i think i might just made it worst x_x....but i don't wanna worry her at the same time i can't keep it away from her ;( (maybe that's why i've been so stressed out and bleh for 3 months???) I don't have the heart to tell it :( i don't want to bring people into MY situation. PERIOD. Period...haha...blood... x_x blood..OMG i hate it. Well i love blood ( not like vampire loving blood) but i love it as in i love having blood in my system...not losing it ... x_x
What the heck am i even saying .___.
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